The Countdown

You know that feeling when you are playing Boggle and the sand is running out in the hour glass?  You are sure there has to be at least one more word you could quickly jot down that would knock the socks off your competition.  In the anxiousness of the moment you miss the simple word "CAT" staring you in the face, the one no one else saw either. It would have been the winning point.

I'm staring down that timer right now.  Only it's not Boggle we're playing here, it's the beginning of kindergarten for my youngest.

Only a short time ago (it seems), Kimberly was setting foot out into the great big world of school.  I shed two tears as I pulled away from the curb in front of the school.  She was too busy playing with her newly made friends to wave.  Apparently she didn't need me anymore.

Life did settle down into a nice routine, and it was amazing how quickly Kimberly needed me again... right when she got home and was hungry for lunch!  While the transition took some getting used to, it was time for the change.  Kimberly was ready to move on in life.

For some reason, thinking of Lindsay setting out on her own is completely different for me.  

Maybe because she is the youngest.

Likely because I fear the adjustment, the unknown of a quiet house every day.

Definitely because I know she will change, grow up, be more inhibited, and less innocent.  

She might even realize that she is not everyone's best friend...

Already I'm envisioning the notes home stating, "Talks too much in class",  and dramatic renditions of real (or imagined) joys experienced and hurts suffered.

Friends are reassuring me that all will be well.  Thank you for your encouragement!  When I think about the future it is easy to fear and find tears threatening to spill.  But when I bring my thoughts back to the here and now, I know my Lord has given me strength for today.  I don't have that strength for tomorrow yet.  Or the strength for August 21st. But when I get there it will be waiting.  His mercies are new every morning.

So as these last few grains of time before school slip through our fingers, my aim is to be grounded in the present.  Every dish left unwashed due to a game of Trouble or Sorry, every moment of sleep lost to an early morning snuggle, every sore muscle from teaching balance on a two wheeled bike will be but a memory to smile over in the days to come. They may be obvious, and they may be small, but they are the experiences God has honored me with.  These will be my "winning" moments.