I usually do. I wake up on January 1st and think of all the things I wish were different about my life. Then I proceed to make a list of what I am going to do in the next year to change those.
Not a bad approach, right?
There is just one problem with it. It NEVER works!
So this year I am doing something different. I am choosing one word, just one to focus on for the entire year. For 2015 I choose...
Now that may seem like a strange word for me to pick but let me explain. When I think of the word adventure, usually the first thing that comes to mind is something fun and exciting, setting off into the unknown. But when I consider it deeper I realize that it encompasses so much more. Things like:
A broader world view
For the first time in a long time I am excited and looking forward to all that is ahead in the coming year.
As with any adventure I know there will be ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Take the adventure of child raising for example. For some reason kids just don't stay the same. Funny, isn't it?! You think you get something about them figured out and then they up and get emotional or start dealing with hormones or learn some new attitude trick. I am grateful that God has entrusted me with the raising of two young ladies, and I pray that I can demonstrate for them how to first of all love Jesus with their whole hearts, to be real, and to extend the love and grace they have received to others around them.
When I mentioned the word adventure including dreams I am telling on myself here. A year ago I was struggling quite a bit with discouragement bordering on depression. During those dark months I could pretend that everything was okay when it really wasn't, and sometimes I could even fool myself into thinking that I didn't have a problem. I prayed. I read my Bible. I journalled. I took long walks on the beach when I was alone. God never left my side. Sometimes when you have a traumatic event take place in your life, the fall-out and emotional reconciliation take a l-o-n-g time to come to the surface. This is just me and a part of my journey. Everyone processes things differently.
During that time I realized I no longer had big dreams. You know, growing up I had all sorts of plans and hopes for the future like any girl. I got married and my dreams got bigger! Traveled to Europe and I made it to the doorstep of that dream castle I was building in my head. God blessed me with a baby girl and I peeked inside the big door; life was exciting and full of promise! I got to take a few steps into my castle: purchased a new home, traveled, found out I was pregnant with my second miracle baby. And then the walls came tumbling down. My marriage ended and I spent the next few years having a baby, raising two girls, and just keeping life on the tracks. No time for dreams...a lot of the old ones were tied to memories I wanted to forget.
It was just me and God.
Looking back I can see a part of His beautiful handiwork in what transpired next, but I would be lax in my explanation if I did not say that at times I questioned and even denied that the path before me was the one to travel. As I've mentioned here, I started working from home in March of this year, and what a ride it has been! The biggest take away? Personal growth. While addressing some of my health issues has helped with my hormonal balance and I no longer have those dark days, learning and really trusting that I am in God's will has taken me on a journey that has truly changed my life.
And so begins the process of building new dreams. How different they look than the ones I had many years ago! But that is what makes them so exciting and a part of the adventure I am on this year.
God can do anything with my life. I am holding on and about to see what that is going to be!