Life in Reverse

Hard to believe that almost three weeks of our summer vacation have sped by already! On Sunday night of this week I declared a "Stay At Home No Matter What Monday" (barring unforeseen circumstances, of course), and we did it!

It was lovely to hop in the car on Tuesday morning and realize the tires were in the same spot we left them on Sunday night.

It was not, however, lovely to realize that Lindsay's bike was in a different spot and therefore her bike seat now resembles a taco minus the lettuce and cheese.

You know, I was never going to be "that mom" who runs over her kids bikes and toys in the driveway. I mean, it can't be that difficult to check the rear view mirror or even peek behind the car before pulling out, right?

True confession time.

I have now graduated to that esteemed category. One bike seat and one scooter wheel in one week. Must be a record.

Remember library catalogs? (Yes, I am showing my age by that question!) I find it interesting to feel categorized. It is as if you could now pull out the drawer titled, "ME-MU" and find my name nestled under the heading of

"Moms Who Run Over Bikes In Driveway"

Jill Whaley 630.14 

Well, I guess we all have to be remembered for something!

Hope you all are enjoying the little moments this summer!

Skinny Dip

So I have been reading the Sarah Plain and Tall series to my girls this week, and one of the aunties in the story goes skinny dipping in the ocean. That, of course, required a detailed explanation including what, why, and how. And it must have made an impression because the topic came up again tonight at bedtime from Lindsay, to which I replied:

"Would you ever go skinny dipping?" 

"No. Never. There would be boys!"

"Well, you would go somewhere where there were no people, somewhere private", I prompted. "It's against the law to do that in public places anyway. You could get arrested."

"But people would see you!" she still insisted. "And a policeman would come."

"Okay, how about with your husband someday..."

"Well, that would be alright. I mean, he could see you. And if a policeman came you could just tell him that it's your husband so it's okay."

Oh.

Overheard In The School Yard

With hands in our pockets to keep out the chill, I waited with Lindsay in line to ride the trikes around the playground this morning before the bell rang. Two vigorous young boys raced the bikes around the painted line on the blacktop and skidded to a halt in front of the next waiting child, then ran to the back of the line for another turn. As the line moved forward, Lindsay hopped on a bike and took off while those two young boys inched forward.

As I smiled and waved when Lindsay turned the corner, the first boy with blond spiky hair and a scrunched up nose turned to his friend and said, "The fast bike is going to be coming in first. Here, I'll switch places with you. You go first."

The second brown-headed boy looked incredulous. "But that means you'll have to use the slow trike! Why would you do that?"

Blondie shrugged his shoulder, gave a little grin, and said, "I don't mind the slow bike. Besides, I know you like the fast one better so you use it! It doesn't matter to me if I go faster or slower."

In the me, me, me world at elementary school, this conversation was balm to my soul. The little blond boy had a grasp of the importance of the relationship over the desire to get the better bike.  That's the kind of example I desire for my children, a win over selfishness (with which they struggle daily) while maintaining a healthy dose of self-confidence.

On closer inspection I realize that I struggle with selfishness daily too. I can be selfish with my time and my attention, while freely sharing correction and criticism.  It's easier to tell and boss than to lead by example, and when I am distracted by thoughts and ideas, the easy road is the one I take, much to my regret.

Recently I have been reading through the book of John, soaking in the being and person of Jesus Christ. Time after time Jesus turned from his intended destination or goal and stopped to talk to someone in need, heal a suffering soul, or offer comfort. Along with his love, he offered his time and attention to those he cared about most, humankind. In a way, he chose the "slow bike", valuing the relationships over his original plans. I want to be like Christ, reflecting a stillness that has time to recognize the needs and the people around me. How easy it is to get caught up in the fast pace of life and the enjoyment of activities and things!

Leave the fast bike for someone else, I want to go slow.

Chop, Chop, Put it in the Pot

As I set six huge apples out on the table with an array of knives, peelers and cutting boards, Kimberly skipped into the kitchen and asked, "Are you making applesauce? Please, please wait to make it until I finish my violin practice!"

"Sure can." I replied. My heart was happy.

An hour later we all gathered around the table. Kimberly and I peeled while Lindsay chopped and put the pieces of apple in the pot.  Conversation flowed. I think a few more of Lindsay's chunks made it in the pot than landed in her mouth, but I wasn't keeping track. In went the lemon juice, cinnamon, salt, and water. Then onto the stove went the pot, and off to play went the girls. And to the dishes went I. With my hands up to the elbows in soap suds, I had a thankful heart; there was more in that pot than apples and cinnamon. 

There was a memory made in that pot, a time when we could share a common task that benefited everyone come dinnertime.  

There was laughter in that pot, silly jokes cracked around the table, apple slices on the floor, the kind of happiness that bubbles up inside when you are present in the moment.

There were lessons learned in that pot. How to hold a peeler, how to core an apple, how to share a cutting board, and how to work together.

There was a family tradition in that pot.  We've done this before, listening to a Boxcar Children book on tape all the while. It was a memory that prompted Kim to ask for a repeat.

There was love in that pot, a time and place where we could come together around a pot of chopped apples and let the world slide by as we enjoyed one another's company.

As we tasted the product of our labors around the dinner table, commenting on the sweetness and the chunkiness of the applesauce, I realized what an integral part of life family traditions are.  We have a few special things we do at certain times of the year, like green milk in the milk carton every April 1st, or funny face pancakes on birthday mornings, or short sheets on the bed.  Now applesauce making has joined the list, and what I love about these moments is that they are simple, harmless, and bring pure joy to my heart and the hearts of my children. That's the type of love that grounds us and pulls us together as a family. It will get us through the tough days, when all is not fun and games, but struggles and conflict. I need these moments.

Some Advice

Main Street Grill is not a great place to have quality conversation with your children about where they think they'll be in the next 10-20 years.  Why, you ask?  Well, for one, the competing football game.  For two, the noise level.  And lastly, who thinks about what they're going to be like when they are 31 years old anyway?

We did nail down a few pointers in the midst of chaos.

Lindsay on being 18 years old:

I'll be in high school!  How old will I be when I start high school? 14! Wow. Then I'll go to college maybe if I want to.

Kimberly on being 18 years old:

I'm going to go to college and be in a math class.  I want to be an engineer like my dad, do something with math because I am really good at that.

Lindsay on being 31 years old (my current age):

Well, I don't know what I'll be like.  Glance at the tv. Comment on the pink helmets and black pants.  Those look nice together!

Actually, I'll be like Aunt Melanie, that's what.  I'll always be correcting kids.  And I'll probably have a baby too.  Giggle, giggle.

Kimberly on being 31 years old:

I'll probably be doing Ebay or something like that. Or maybe I'll just be playing my violin or piano and not practicing.

Lindsay on "what is a goal"?

Huh? I don't know what a goal is.  You mean like make a goal?

Kimberly on "what is a goal"?

It's like saying to yourself at swim lessons, "I can make it to the other side of the pool", and you do!

And that's when we made it our goal to finish our lunch and enjoy the rest of the afternoon 

in Cambria.

Earwig

So Lindsay has been feeling a bit under the weather these last couple of days. Just a cold, which turned into a cough, which seems to be bothering her ears.  This evening she dripped from the bathtub to her jammy drawer, then came shivering to find me before bed.  

Wiggling one finger in her ear, I heard her mumble I have a wig in there. 

She looked at me uncertainly. 

What was that? I questioned, trying hard to keep my smile under control.

An earwig.

Ear wax, maybe? I prompted.

Oh yeah. Another wiggle of the finger. It's not funny.

My laughter could be contained no longer.

Much better than a wig... or an earwig for that matter.

A New Birth Day

We had some pretty exciting stuff happening around here a couple of weeks ago. While reviewing Lindsay's memory verse for the week (Philippians 4:5), we got to talking about Jesus returning to earth and taking all believers to live with him forever.  When I asked her if she would go to heaven, she said, "Well, Kimberly told me the words to say, but I don't really know what that means."

Talk about opportunity!

I tried not to get my hopes up.  We had talked many times in the past and she just didn't have a clear understanding of the price Jesus paid for her.

"Will you read the story to me again, Mama?  The one about Jesus dying on the cross?"

Music to my ears!

"Of course, dear."  We opened up our Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes and read through the account of Jesus' betrayal, crucifixion, burial, and resurrection. Lindsay turned to me and said, "I want to believe, but I just don't know how to do it!"

Enter the analogy of a gift.  "Just imagine I have this beautifully wrapped gift in my hands, with a big bow on top," I told her.  "It's not your birthday or any special celebration, but I just want to give this gift to you because I love you.  What would you do?"

She giggled.  And said she didn't know.  So I handed her a book.  "Let's pretend this is the gift! What would you do?"

"Well, I would take it," she said.

"Right!  And that is just how you believe!  Just accept that Jesus loved you, Lindsay, enough to die for you and he is offering new life to you!"

"I want to do that," she said.

And she prayed.  Hallelujah!  The angels were singing, along with my heart.

Jesus moved right into her heart, and the resulting life in her has been astounding to watch unfold.

Is she still Lindsay?  Yep.
Is she still naughty? Uh, yeah.

But there are these little glimmers of something new growing in her soul that peek up out of the overgrown weed patch of a heart which has never known a Savior.

I am eternally grateful.

Farewell Summer

It's been a good summer. 

An incredible summer, actually.  

We enjoyed several lazy mornings (for which some of my friends say I should be grateful!)

And while we fit in a few "lasts" before school begins for Lindsay, they were not our focus.  Instead, making fun memories and enjoying being together was our goal.  We even made a few "firsts"...

Riding the train around Gilroy Gardens

The Panorama Wheel

Kimberly drives her first car!  1920's roadster

While spending a couple of days in Gilroy we ran into some car trouble.  Too bad we were a mere mile and a half from the Factory Outlets!  School shopping was our goal anyway, so we enjoyed walking though several stores while waiting for our car to be repaired.  I'm very thankful that we were not stranded halfway from nowhere when the fan in the engine began to sound like a semi truck going down the highway.

~ ~ ~

We had a little midnight excitement one night...

Hearing a commotion after 12 o'clock a.m. from the parrots we are bird-sitting, I groggily peered through the blinds to find a raccoon prying open a window and making his way inside our garden shed where the birds are kept.  Throwing on my ancient bathrobe, I hurried to the front door and carefully stepped outside, knowing the raccoons around here tend to run in groups.  When I didn't see any more around, I went for the water hose, spray nozzle set to "jet", and the hard rake.  Sure enough, by banging on the back of the shed and spraying the metal with high powered water, and making enough racket to wake the dead, I scared three of the critters out of the shed.  Cautiously opening the door with my rake, I made sure I couldn't see more before entering to assure the birds' safety.  Then I locked all the windows and moved a heavy pot in front of the door to hold it shut. 

Back to bed I went.  

Two minutes after my head hit the pillow, the birds were at it again.  This time, while looking through the window of the shed, I spied three more pairs of eyes.  True story.  And I had bravely entered the "raccoons den" while they had been holed up somewhere in there, watching my every move with their beady eyes.  Thank goodness for the brown bathrobe... they must have mistaken me for a bear...

My raccoon scaring tools of choice

~ ~ ~

And the big finale of this summer culminated with the
Carnival and Circus Party 
at Alan and Melanie's house.

Lindsay and Corrine ride the train made by Alan Payton 

Kimberly the Clown

The cousins

Cameron the Clown

What a fine looking couple!

Friends!

Some "carnies" - Nelson and Cherisa

T. Ryan - the Magician with his little zebra

Tall Man Swift

The Zebra Stevens'

One of the lucky goldfish winners!

Between costumes, food, games, and friends, the event turned out even better than we could have hoped!  A huge thank you to all of you who helped out, asked or not!  You made it all come together and we couldn't have done it without you.

~ ~ ~

It's sad to tell you goodbye, summer, but a new season is ahead of us with it's own sense of adventure and promise. New experiences lie before us in many aspects of life, some known, and some unknown.  But the Creator of the heavens and earth knew about them even before time began, so we are trusting that He has it all under control. 

Happy 5th Birthday Lindsay!

Five years ago:

Two days before Lindsay's birth

May 27, 2008

Connie Hasley, my doula

With big sis

Starting those smiles early!

Lindsay, it's hard to believe you are five already!  You are a beautiful little girl, full of fun, zip, and excitement.  Giggles announce your arrival, and smiles your departure. 

I love your excitement about the small things. 

Things like bugs and tree blossoms and pajamas.

I love your compassionate heart that wants to heal hurts and bring smiles to our faces.

I love your sharing nature that willingly gives to all and makes sure to divide

 your last stick of gum into three pieces.

I love your voice that almost never stops talking.

I love your spontaneous nature that wants to drop everything and have a tea party.

I love your creative energy that pirouettes around the room in a pink tutu.

I love your sense of humor that tries to scare me from behind the bed.  Every day.

I love your imagination that 'I spies" white clouds in a clear blue sky.

But most of all, I love YOU.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

The Countdown

You know that feeling when you are playing Boggle and the sand is running out in the hour glass?  You are sure there has to be at least one more word you could quickly jot down that would knock the socks off your competition.  In the anxiousness of the moment you miss the simple word "CAT" staring you in the face, the one no one else saw either. It would have been the winning point.

I'm staring down that timer right now.  Only it's not Boggle we're playing here, it's the beginning of kindergarten for my youngest.

Only a short time ago (it seems), Kimberly was setting foot out into the great big world of school.  I shed two tears as I pulled away from the curb in front of the school.  She was too busy playing with her newly made friends to wave.  Apparently she didn't need me anymore.

Life did settle down into a nice routine, and it was amazing how quickly Kimberly needed me again... right when she got home and was hungry for lunch!  While the transition took some getting used to, it was time for the change.  Kimberly was ready to move on in life.

For some reason, thinking of Lindsay setting out on her own is completely different for me.  

Maybe because she is the youngest.

Likely because I fear the adjustment, the unknown of a quiet house every day.

Definitely because I know she will change, grow up, be more inhibited, and less innocent.  

She might even realize that she is not everyone's best friend...

Already I'm envisioning the notes home stating, "Talks too much in class",  and dramatic renditions of real (or imagined) joys experienced and hurts suffered.

Friends are reassuring me that all will be well.  Thank you for your encouragement!  When I think about the future it is easy to fear and find tears threatening to spill.  But when I bring my thoughts back to the here and now, I know my Lord has given me strength for today.  I don't have that strength for tomorrow yet.  Or the strength for August 21st. But when I get there it will be waiting.  His mercies are new every morning.

So as these last few grains of time before school slip through our fingers, my aim is to be grounded in the present.  Every dish left unwashed due to a game of Trouble or Sorry, every moment of sleep lost to an early morning snuggle, every sore muscle from teaching balance on a two wheeled bike will be but a memory to smile over in the days to come. They may be obvious, and they may be small, but they are the experiences God has honored me with.  These will be my "winning" moments.  

Six Little Ladies for Tea

Should we choose the teal dress or the red velvet?

Pearls or beads?

Silver shoes or none at all?

Then the waiting... who will come first?

So many questions when you are almost five.

The guests have arrived!

Clockwise from top left: Claire McWilliams, Lindsay Whaley, Corrine McWilliams, Alexia Anastasia,
Olivia Whaley, and Kendra Perry

Let's have tea.

And cupcakes, and cucumber sandwiches, and chocolate dipped marshmallows, and cookies, and deviled eggs, and olives, and strawberries.

Then we'll play for a while.

And while we're at it, let's celebrate Lindsay's birthday a couple weeks early.

She's quite the little lady!

Blessings and the Exodus

My cup is full and overflowing tonight.  It's one of those evenings when I sit down after the kids are in bed  and am thankful and thrilled by the undeserved blessings God has showered on me.  It's been a lovely day...

Coffee and laughter with sweet friends.

Feeding the ducks with all my Whaley nieces and nephews.

Snuggling a certain nephew with the cutest rolls you've ever seen!

An afternoon siesta.

Playing with my girls on the living room floor.

Laughing and tickle fights.

Enjoying being home and being together.

After dinner Kimberly asked if we could continue reading in Exodus where we left off this morning.

"No, that's not right," Lindsay piped up. "We're reading in Letticus!"

Teasingly, I told the girls we were just getting to the good part (the genealogy of Aaron and Moses.)  After about four verses of names, Lindsay suggested that this was a little boring because there were no pictures, and that maybe we should just play trains.  

"What's wrong," I asked her, chuckling. "You don't like hearing names like Phinehas?  Maybe I should have named you that.  Phinehas Michelle Whaley.  Or maybe you would have liked Lindsay Phinehas Whaley better.  What do you think?"

Looking thoughtful, she replied.  "Well, actually, I think I do want you to call me that.  Yes, but just you.  That can be your special name for me.  Phinehas.  Yes, that's just right."

Oh dear.  

I'm thinking I should have gone for Carmi or Mahali instead.

Butterfly

...needles, that is

We had a lesson in phlebotomy recently...

Nothing to worry about, just a routine check up, but Kimberly's first experience with any type of lab work.  I must say, she was a champ!  On the way home we discussed how everything works, from needles to tubes, from alcohol wipes to veins. 

 And it reminded me of this not-so-lovely day 4 and 1/2 years ago...

It all started with a UT infection at 5 and 1/2 months old.  Lindsay couldn't keep the antibiotic down, and a visit to the doctor resulted in an emergency room visit.

And then an ambulance ride.

And three nights accommodation in the children's ward of French Hospital for both of us.

Describing the event to my children was like walking down the sterile, dingy halls of the third floor, pushing open the door to the dim, cramped children's ward, and feeling the lump in my throat as the doctor announced, "We need to change her IV."

My mind had been whirling since the ER doctor first asked for Lindsay's car seat and promptly strapped her, and it, onto a stretcher and wheeled her to a waiting ambulance.  As we were whisked off into the night, my heart ached with the knowledge that I was unexpectedly leaving Kimberly behind with only a hug and a kiss. I continued the prayer I had started earlier in the day.  

Well past her bedtime when we arrived, Lindsay was in hysterics, and the nurses proceeded to undress her in that cold, heartless room.  And poke her.  And take her temperature.  And splint her arm so she wouldn't yank out the IV.  I put her to sleep in a "crib" that was just about as welcoming as a cage at the zoo.

I slept in my clothes that night.

The next day we woke to more tests and feeding issues to deal with.  Of course there was also waiting, and a hurting, unhappy baby.  Some lovely folks came by to visit, and a friend brought me iced coffee.  I'm not quite sure why she thought I needed it?!?  Then the blood draw.  Three nurses and myself couldn't keep Lindsay still enough to get the needle in.  One itsy-bitsy butterfly needle turned into five or six as they repeatedly missed her vein.  My whole being shivered and cringed at her screams.  Tears threatened and I will never forget it.  Or the paci-shaped sucker that finally made her calm enough to relax.  Thank goodness for sugar... and prayer.

Some tests were scheduled for the following day, so we settled in for another wait.  Kimberly came to visit, and we played with Little People at a small table by the window.  She told me today that she remembers playing with me, and then begging me to play some more when I needed to go check on Lindsay.  "I was missing your attention," she said. "You were all paying so much attention to Lindsay."  My heart hurt all over again.

That evening, with the baby in bed, we squeezed two chairs into our little cubicle behind the curtain for my parents, and I sat on the bed, knowing we had two more nights in the hospital.  Without warning, I knew I needed to throw up.  Gross, yeah.  I had the full-blown stomach virus.  In my mind I can still clearly see the yellow sign posted in front of my bed while the janitor cleaned up the floor.  Caution: Contaminated Area.  I sort of felt like a roach.  On second thought, maybe that was just part of the "bug"...

There were 37 steps from my bed to the bathroom past the nurses station.  I know because I visited it six times that night.  

I felt better by the first morning light, and we made it through the last day with flying colors, though I chaffed to be home with my daughters, wished for a daily shower, and prayed that the tests would come back clear. They did.  And we went home.  

Looking back, I remember being worried about Lindsay, the emotions of seeing a child in pain, the fear of the unknown.  But trumping those feelings is the reality of never feeling alone.  My Savior was right beside me the whole time.  Especially when I thought things couldn't get worse, and they did!  All the love and support shown to us in our time of need was His provision for us.  God truly uses people in amazing ways.

Even the janitor...